How Does Homeownership Affect Dating?

Finding love is beautiful, but unfortunately, it can also cause significant legal headaches. When things get serious and people decide to share their assets, this can lead to heartbreak and frustration if there is an unhappy split later on.

Loving couple toasting new apartment with champagne
Image by gpointstudio on Freepik

This is especially true when considering a person’s most important asset: their home. While being a homeowner puts you in a great position when dating, it can also put you at risk of losing money if you put the wrong person on the mortgage. Today, we’ll discuss how to protect your assets - and your heart - while dating as a homeowner.

Bring Up the Issue Early on

Just like with mental health issues or having children, homeowners should be upfront about their property ownership and plans for the home. You do not need to bring it up on the first date if you’re not comfortable with that, and some dates may believe you’re moving too fast if you bring up your living situation too early. However, by the time you feel comfortable bringing your partner home, they should be aware that you own your home and what you intend to do with it if you get serious.

Understanding your living situation will make it easier for your partner to identify how they may fit into your life and what your expectations are for them. For example, you may have a small house and would rather sell it to move into a shared home, or you might have inherited a large home with plenty of room for a partner.

Homeowners Should Think Twice About Adding Their Loved One to the Home’s Title Or Mortgage

If you add a cosigner, both of you are mutually responsible for the debt in case of a foreclosure. If one person declares bankruptcy or cannot satisfy the debt, then the loan company will come after the other one for the full debt. This means that you have to think carefully about whether the other person is financially responsible or whether they may make you lose the home you worked so hard for.

Another consideration about adding a cosigner is that you would need to refinance the property. If interest rates are much higher than they were when you originally took out the mortgage, it may not make sense to add your partner to the loan. It may be possible to use a quitclaim deed to add the other person to the title without changing the loan, but you would still need to inform the lender.

Speak to a Lawyer and Sign a Prenup

While no one wants to think about dividing assets when they’re in the flush of young love, it’s a sad fact that 41% of first marriages end in divorce, with the numbers rising significantly for each subsequent marriage. As such, homeowners need to plan ahead for what will happen to their homes after a divorce and work with a lawyer to ensure that every party is satisfied with what they receive.

For example, if you purchased the home before you became a couple, but your spouse helped pay off the mortgage, it would only be fair that they get a percentage of the equity equal to what they contributed. If you purchased the home together and mutually contributed to its payments, a 50/50 split may make more sense. Talking about these issues ahead of time can even strengthen your relationship by showing your commitment to fairness and trust.

Those Dating Later in Life May Have Different Concerns

In today’s world, it’s not uncommon to find individuals dating after losing a long-term partner in their 60s or 70s. These individuals often have significant equity in their homes that they or their partner may want to use to live the good life. However, it’s important for senior citizens not to get swept up in the honeymoon stage and take out debt that they cannot afford.

Reverse mortgages are a popular way to access home equity, and they can be a powerful tool for making one’s golden years more comfortable. When made with full awareness of the risks and benefits, these loan products can help senior citizens keep up with the cost of living changes and avoid losing their homes. However, it’s also possible for romance scammers to push senior citizens into taking these out and then absconding with the money.

Some states have significantly higher restrictions to prevent the exploitation of senior citizens. For example, a homeowner seeking a reverse mortgage in Fresno, California, would need to undergo more thorough counseling that discusses alternatives to reverse mortgages and creates an action plan for their living expenses after their home equity is depleted. Other states have severely restricted how reverse mortgages can be used and put long cooling-off periods to encourage homeowners to think twice about using them.

Seniors with an active dating life should be cautious of anyone encouraging them to take out loans they do not need, and avoid making a new partner into a cosigner.

Homeownership Offers Benefits and Challenges to the Modern Dating Landscape

Being a homeowner provides security and comfort; it can also give you a uniquely powerful position when dating, as many are attracted to the stability that homeownership provides. However, homeowners must protect their assets by communicating honestly with potential partners, speaking to a lawyer, and being wary of potential scams. Through transparent communication and legal advice, you can turn your home into a true love nest for you and your beloved.